Grim Reaper Accidentally Picked Up with Migrant Farm Workers, Decides to Stick Around
“I didn’t have any appointments scheduled — figured I’d see what a hard day’s work felt like.”
By Nina J. | Witless Wire
FRESNO, CA — The Grim Reaper, Eternal Collector of Souls and Reluctant Middle Manager of the Afterlife, found himself in unfamiliar territory Monday after mistakenly being picked up by a truck transporting migrant farm workers to a local strawberry field.
“I was just standing at the corner of Death Avenue and Harvest Road waiting for a cursed soul with a rotator cuff tear,” said the Reaper, his voice echoing unnaturally from beneath his tattered hood. “Next thing I know, some guy in a dusty Ford waves me over, says ‘¡Vámonos!’, and I think, why not?”
According to witnesses, none of the workers questioned the presence of a 7-foot skeleton in a cloak wielding a scythe in the back of the truck.
“We just figured he was one of those quiet guys,” said Isidro, a seasonal worker from Jalisco. “He didn’t talk much, but he picked faster than anyone. Even sharpened his own sickle. Respect.”
Once on-site, the Reaper reportedly harvested nearly a full acre of strawberries before anyone realized he wasn’t part of the original crew. Supervisors were initially alarmed, but reconsidered after seeing his efficiency and calm demeanor.
“He didn’t complain once. Not even about the heat,” said foreman Raul Gutierrez. “Plus, he scared off a couple of coyotes — and one USDA inspector. Honestly, we could use a guy like that.”
“It’s Honest Work. Also, No One Cries When I Show Up Here.”
The Reaper later admitted he’d grown weary of his usual duties.
“People are so dramatic now,” he said, leaning on his scythe during the lunch break. “It used to be ‘Oh no, it’s Death!’ Now it’s lawsuits, phone cameras, and TikToks. I once got doxxed by a suburban mom I visited during a Pilates class.”
Asked if he was considering a permanent change, he paused. “There’s something peaceful about this. Rows of crops. The sound of earth. No screaming. No bargaining. Just… strawberries.”
By the end of the day, he was seen sharing a jug of horchata with fellow workers and helping repair a busted wheelbarrow. One laborer, who wished to remain anonymous, said the Reaper even laughed at a joke about avocados — though the laugh caused three nearby crows to fall dead from the sky.
“He’s got a weird vibe,” the worker added. “But he’s family now.”
Final Destination: Self-Discovery?
According to sources in the Underworld, the Reaper’s absence was noticed by Hades himself, who reportedly texted “??? Where u at bro?” followed by a skull emoji.
When asked if he’d return to his post, the Reaper sighed.
“I might. I mean, death doesn’t take a day off. But maybe it should. Maybe we all should.” He paused, gently cradling a ripe berry. “Life is short. Even for me.”
“There’s something peaceful about this. Rows of crops. The sound of earth. No screaming. No bargaining. Just… strawberries.”
As of press time, El Reaper was harmonizing with the others on the ride home, his bony fingers tapping out rhythms on a crate of strawberries.
