Local Woman Delivers Oscar-Worthy “Oh, Totally Natural!” When Asked If Friend’s Tattooed Eyebrows Look Real
“Her mouth was smiling, but her eyebrows looked like they were daring us to fight.” PORTLAND, OR — In a
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The Witless Wire
Uninformed. Ill-advised
The Witless Wire
Uninformed. Ill-advised
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Grim Reaper Accidentally Picked Up with Migrant Farm Workers, Decides to Stick Around
“I didn’t have any appointments scheduled — figured I’d see what a hard day’s work felt like.” By Nina J.
Read MoreLocal Man Plots Elaborate Revenge on Noisy Neighbor, Accidentally Chooses Series of Extremely Slow, Long-Term Tactics
Experts say the house might have structural damage by 2047 if the termites stay focused and well-fed. Bakersfield, CA —
Read MoreBroadway Performance of Cats Disrupted by Rogue Laser Pointer — Cast Abandons Plot to Chase Red Dot
“It was like watching a Shakespearean tragedy dissolve into a Meow Mix commercial.” NEW YORK CITY — A recent performance
Read MoreMan Turns 80, Divorces Wife of 56 Years to “Start Fresh”
“I always said when I hit 80, I’d clear the decks — that means the wife too,” he explains over
Read MoreBoy Who Received First Xbox for Birthday Devastated to Learn Every Cool Gamertag Already Taken
FAIRFIELD, OH — What started as a moment of digital rite-of-passage quickly spiraled into despair Saturday when 10-year-old Milo Densmore
Read MoreNew Restaurant ‘Solo’ Lets You Dine Alone in Reflective Orbs. Is This the Future of Dining?
by Vivian V., Food and Culture Writer for The Witless Wire NEW YORK, NY – Solo, the new restaurant that’s
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